My Deadline Poems

Feb. 2016:

Baselinestretch,
my dearest friend.
You always help me
in the end.

You are the one,
that is, albeit,
I will be changing you
to point nine eight.

Nov. 2017:
(dedicated to Amir Abboud,
Seri Khoury, and Christoph Lenzen)

Change the bibstyle, so they said,
we must bring this to an end.
Five characters on average,
three for authors, two for year,
become just two digits,
for the order, as I hear.

If it does not do the trick,
natbib package is your thing.
But in any case,
for whatever trick you aim,
don’t touch baselinestretch –
that is really full of shame.

Feb. 2018:
(based on a true story)

We’re all kind of fighters,
research keeps us alive.
But I don’t pull all-nighters,
I submit at five.

But my mind runs solo,
even when I’m asleep,
so I woke up at three,
counting glitches, not sheep.

Then an angel dropped from heaven,
so lucky me:
I had time until seven –
twelve AM, EST.

Feb. 2019:

One for the tex,
One for the bib file,
One for table 1,
And one for the paper title.

One for the abstract,
One for the intro,
One for the facts,
And one for the main flow.

One for section 1,
One for subsec 3.2,
One for the typo
At the end of section 2.

One for figure 1,
One for figure 2.
Figure 3 should be removed,
I’ll take the token for that too.

And if by next week
The paper isn’t broken,
I’ll take the token for the acks,
To thank the god of tokens.